A Beautiful Day

We settled into the silence and enjoyed our dinner together as a family, but so much had gone into that moment.

The food had just come ‘fresh’ out of the microwave, since it had sat on the kitchen table too long and cooled down.  The few tiny drops of rain that fell before dinner had now stopped, mocking me for all of my panic, and leaving a somewhat damp, somewhat crisp feeling in the air.  The spotty rain was visible only on my t-shirt, and so was the humid 90 degree heat that preceded the rain.  I came in from outside and joined Erica in the kitchen.  It was finally time to eat.

When Erica had pulled into the driveway only moments before, she was greeted by one screaming crying kid and another overly concerned big sister.  I stuck my head out of the tent that was still set up in the backyard to explain, “That one is fresh, I don’t know what he’s crying about now, but it’s not related to the phone call earlier.” She replied with a quizzical, “What are you doing in the tent?” the rest of her sentence I’m sure was to be, “…when there is a kid crying in the house?” but to her credit, she didn’t ask the second part, and I may have just assumed it.  Still, I felt I had to justify myself by explaining that it was raining just a few minutes ago and I didn’t want all of their sleeping stuff to be wet for tonight.  I think I actually used the word “thunderstorming” which was stretching the truth.

Before she came home, she called me to tell me that she would be very late.  Even though she was told to pick up the cake at 6:00 the bakery was closed.  She was waiting for a manager to come and open it up to give her the cake for the preschool graduation ceremony the next day.  I begged her to hurry home.

I lifted up the bottom edge of my t-shirt to wipe the sweat dripping off my brow.  I had felt a raindrop earlier and so I jumped up from the picnic blanket and rushed the kids and all the food back into the house, before running out again to grab their gear.

But before that one solitary fateful drop of rain, Pax, Ella and I were all laying on the picnic blanket taking turns applying an ice pack to our foreheads.  It started as a way to be silly so that Pax would let me put the ice on his forehead, which worked a couple of times but mostly just helped to distract him from the shock of what just happened.

I had seen it all unfold in slow motion.  He stood up to get out of the pool and the first foot he lifted to try to put over the pool’s edge caught the very tip of his toes at the top of the pool, sending his hands high in the air and toppling him face first onto the driveway.  I rushed over and rinsed him off to see what the damage was.  By his crying I thought we would have to make a trip to the emergency room.  Once I could see the small scrape where the blood was coming from, amidst the black and blue mark on his forehead, I knew we could handle it at home.  I sat him on the blanket and got him a towel from the house and immediately dialed his mommy.

Meanwhile, Ella yelled to me from the swimming pool asking to get out.  Erica called my phone again but I had to let it go to voicemail.  The ribs were still on the grill cooking, the corn cobs in the house were still boiling and then Ella called again to me with her final plea of, “I have to go potty” which at first, caught me off guard.  My initial reaction was that she was in a pool, and I gave it a low priority, but after more of her persistence, I left Pax with instructions to hold the ice pack to his head and took Ella in the house to help her get out of her swimsuit and make it in time.

Erica had just called a few minutes before with a status report telling me that she would be a few minutes late because it seems the store was having problems with their photo printing station.

I can still see me now, the trimmed meat searing on the grill, the smell of smoke and barbecue filling the air.  I said hello to an old friend and simultaneously handled disputes from the pool with a wave of my hand.  Erica left with the promise that she would be back soon.  The sun was shining and the clouds were a brilliant white against a bright blue.  It was a beautiful day.  At this point, all I heard was some thunder in the distance.  I was clueless as to everything that was about to transpire around me.  I actually thought we would make it out unscathed and that Erica would arrive home just in time to sit down and enjoy a nice Memorial Day picnic with the family.

Now, as we sat inside around the kitchen table and looked out the window at the grey skies, the comfortable silence was a welcomed reminder of all the fun we had starting even the night before and how tired we all must be. And that it was still a beautiful day together.

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Everything I Needed to Know About Kindergarten, I Learned Tonight

She sat next to me, we were packed in like sardines, and her eyes took in everything around her.  I wondered if the noise from all of the conversations and kids surrounding us made it difficult for her to hear and how that might add to the nervousness and excitement of the moment.  She sat quietly, drawing comfort from me on her right, and strength from her best friend who was sitting close on her left.  It was Kindergarten information night.  Her two years of preschool helped prepare me for this, but I was still drawing strength from my wife, who was sitting by my other side, with the orange information folder in hand, as we waited for instructions.  This was still a big night.

Soon after the principle introduced herself on the crackly speaker system, the eight kindergarten teachers lined up in front, each with a piece of colored paper on a stick that matched the colors on the hats that were handed out at the registration table.  My first thought, Ella’s hat was blue, her best friend’s was pink, but I learned this did not mean they would be separated for the entire next year.  It was just their room assignment for the night.

One by one the colors were called.  The little girl next to us stood clinging to her mother’s leg as her mom and multiple staff tried to coach her off the leg and out of the room.  When the teacher for blue came down the center aisle towards us, a string of kids in tow, Ella stood patiently and waited for a break in the line before stepping in stride and heading out of the cafeteria.  Now that I think about it, I don’t even think she looked back.

The next hour was full of Power Point slides and mini-introductions to the staff.  Handouts in the folder were discussed and I’m still getting over the sticker shock of the estimate for the kindergarten supply list; they said it might cost around $70!  Relief swept over me when I heard everyone in attendance was walking away with a backpack with supplies, but I envisioned a twenty pound heavy duty bag loaded with gear and was slightly disappointed when I saw the thin drawstring sacks that only came with a pair of scissors, a box of crayons and a token pencil.  But, I still checked the scissors and crayons off the list with enthusiasm!

We heard about everything they would learn that year, and should be able to do by year’s end.  More than once I turned to Erica with a wink and a nod, confident she already knew all of her capital and lowercase letters, rhyming words and, of course, punctuation.  It was good to know what things to work on with her, too, like comprehension after hearing a story, recognizing 43 sight words, counting to 115, and sentence structure.

When we picked her up at the end of the night, one of the teachers told us what they overheard Ella say on the way to the classroom.  It made me feel confident and proud of my little girl, who is constantly growing up before my eyes.  Apparently, she commented to one of her fellow classmates or perhaps only aloud to herself, “And I’m not even scared!”

I think the biggest lesson of the night for dad was that Ella will be just fine!

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Now that Ella has learned about Kindergarten I can tell she feels a sense of maturity.  She informed Pax at the dinner table tonight with great pride, “I learned about Kindergarten” Her badge of honor is the blue hat, which she sees as some kind of early diploma, an important symbol that only kids who have gone to the Kindergarten information night can share.  It’s like a bond.  If she is out at the store with Erica and happens to see another little boy or girl wearing their Kindergarten information night hat, they will simply smile and nod, knowing they have both arrived!

 

How Young is Too Young to Mow the Lawn?

He makes straighter rows than I do…

We said “Hi!” every time we passed each other

See other Wordless Wednesday blogs

The $2,000 Wild Goose Chase

“Pax, what did you do with it?”

I had only left them on the end table for a few seconds to attend to Ella in the bathtub.  When I came back into the living room, one of her hearing aids was on the living room floor, and I wasn’t liking the answers I was getting about the other one.

“Where is it, Pax? Where did you put Ella’s other hearing aid?”

His first answer shocked me.

His two year old lips shaped every syllable “Maybe it’s in the re-frig-er-ator…“

I was on my knees moving every food item I could from shelf to shelf.  Our freezer is on the bottom, which is right at his level.  ”Please, no! He couldn’t have put it in here?!” I prayed.

I turned to him again, looking him in the eyes trying to get a read on what exactly was going on in that brain of his.  His second answer brought more clues.  His toddler lisp gave this description of its fate, “Maybe I threw it way up high?“

He looks sweet and innocent, but his mind is devious!

First Time Wearing Make-Up

No not me.  Um…I’ve worn make-up before (hey I was in drama in high school…lay off)

My little girl had pictures taken for her ballet recital coming up.  Can’t wait to see her do her routine!

Forgiveness and Moving On

The picture she drew was of me and her.  Normally, I wouldn’t think too much of it, but since we had just come off of one of the rockiest weekends yet, I was a little more tuned in to whatever cues she was giving me about how she was feeling.

It seemed like she was paying more attention to me than normal. Pax on the other hand seems unphased by our disaster weekend, but a small part of me still wonders if it affected him and he is just too young to show it.  Ella is talking about me all the time, wanting to play together and just be together.  Her picture is what broke through the loudest.

we are both working at mending our relationship

Not because it was a picture of anything specific, I am just a big round head with hair and she is a yellow blur in the background.  But it was what finally made me ask myself, “Why is she paying so much attention to me, all of a sudden?”

I know I’ve felt guilty, and I’ve tried to apologize.  It’s harder to forgive myself than it is for them to forgive me, I think.  But I have also been more purposeful about spending time with them since “that weekend” and have tried to spend time doing what they love.  I want things to go back to how they were and to just forget about my outburst.

So her painting of us together with our names, her interest in my friends at work, her asking for me to take her to ballet…It seems we are both working at mending our relationship, if only subconsciously on her part.

At the breakfast we went to at her school, she got to introduce me to the other dads sitting at our table and share something she thinks is funny about me.  I didn’t know how much she and Pax loved it when I chase them around the house, but that was her answer.  Now when I come home from work I’m greeted immediately with requests to ‘press my nose’ to turn on the robot that will run around all crazy…I’m thankful for their forgiveness and for second chances…and I revel in these evenings of laughter that help to heal our hearts.

To My Wife

Erica, this past year I have been in awe at the kind of mother you are to our kids…

Where did that tissue come from? We are in the middle of the park? Mom. That’s where.

You throw the best dance parties

You deal with this attitude constantly when it comes to her hair

Yet, despite her resistance…you always make her look good!

From shorts to pants in one “easy” zip. You also tie shoes on request…Is his nose running, AGAIN?!?

Never one to pass up a Photo Op!

You know when to say, “Yes”

But you also know when to say, “No!”

You deal graciously with life’s little messes!

I’m Sorry

It happened in the living room, I think, in the afternoon.  One sentence that has set off a chain reaction of questions in my mind.  As each word came out of her mouth, the shadow of those words slowly eclipsed the memory of the breakfast we shared at her school that morning leaving me feeling lost and empty, most of all, sad.  Part of why her comment affected me so much was because it was out of the blue, completely not related to the events that were transpiring around her.  This meant it was really on her mind.  Another reason they were so powerful was because they dug up some of the very details of the previous weekend I was hoping she had forgotten, details I previously tried to cover up, but which I will always remember, and obviously she has, too.  Now I will explain.

When I told them to clean up their room after quiet time, I stood there barking out orders at my son (only two and a half, I forget that sometimes…) 

“Pax, pick this up.  Put it there.  Now pick something else up, look at your feet, no right there. You just stepped on it.  Here!  Now put this away.  Ella, pick something up and put it away.  Now, pick up something else, Pax, that.  Yes, that!  Pick it up. Pax! Pick it up, now where does it go? Put it away.  Pax! Stop playing and put it away.  You too Ella, keep picking up.  Pax, stop playing and put it AWAY. Ella, what are you doing? You’re supposed to be cleaning up!?”

My blood boiled, my anger burned.  I finally yelled and slammed the door behind me, leaving them with the threat that if it wasn’t picked up when I came back, I would take it all away.

And then I came back, only with a garbage bag this time.  I piled it in, and grabbed some larger toys for added effect.  On the way out, I picked up her Dora suitcase that was laying in front of the door and took it all downstairs to the back.

It was the suitcase she cried most about, and it would be the first thing I would change my mind on.  It was more than a suitcase to her, she knew we were planning on going on vacation later this summer and to her, if her suitcase was gone, she wouldn’t be able to come with us.  It was truly devastating.  Not only had I thrown her toys out, I had sentenced her to a week at home alone while everyone else went away without her.  She was upset and cried and wouldn’t let it go.  In the moment, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but eventually I came to my senses and gave her the suitcase back.

That’s the back story to what she said to me in the living room.  What could she possible have said that would shake my world?