In response to my post on Saturday, I’ve been thinking a lot about what God is trying to teach me. And while I have many shortcomings, God seems to be trying to whack me over the head with the idea that I need to be less selfish. Correction, not selfish. If there is one area that demands giving your all, it is with your family. I love my kids, but I hate how after a hard day at work, sometimes it feels like I have to come home and give give give. And being a good husband isn’t easy either, it’s too easy to be irritable and upset and take it out on my wife. Just because work is stressful right now, does not give me the right to check out once I get home. I need to be giving, I need to be helpful, kind, put others first. This does not mean that I lose myself in others, rather I must improve myself by being what God expects me to be in my family. Tonight was just another test, that unfortunately I failed. Erica was going to hang out with some friends tonight, and we saw each other for only about a half hour. I walked in from work, and her friend was picking her up 30 minutes later. I was mean to her because I didn’t feel like talking, although I should have been more considerate that she needed to talk about some things. Then after she left, I took care of the kids at home, and although Ella is sooo cute, sometimes I get frustrated at her lack of communication skills or her disobedience. In all of this, the craziness of life, God keeps testing me and giving me opportunities to do what’s right. Hopefully one day I’ll get it right. So if you are following this blog, I just ask that you keep me in your prayers that I will lose the selfish side of me and be the husband/father I need to be for my family.
Yesterday, Ella did not want to stay with the other kids out of the church service so she sat with us for the first time. She did really well at keeping quiet, except for a few things. When we finished with a hymn she would say “All done!” and clap her hands…and when she saw Grandma and Grandpa sitting just a few rows in front of her, she burst out, “Grandma! Grandpa!” Other than that, she would sit with the hymnal in her lap and her hands folded, and occasionally look at me and whisper “shhh…” After church I had her go up to Pastor and give him a high five and say “Good job!” which really gave him a kick! The kids are finally down for the night, Erica is still out with her friends. Time for some ‘me time’ 🙂 oh wait, maybe I should clean the house first so it’s not a wreck when Erica gets home…:)