There is this unwritten rule that says that all parents have to be in love with their baby. It is socially unacceptable for a new mom or dad to say, “I don’t like having a baby” They are expected to be head over heels at caring for someone so little and helpless. This places a lot of pressure on new parents, they feel like they are not able to share their struggles, their mourning for their old life when it was just the two of them, their dislike of changing diapers, or constantly having their schedule dictated by someone whose only communication method is to either cry or cry really loudly. No one is able to speak out about this, but I know for a fact that there are many parents who feel otherwise.
Take a new mom I know, she is always on facebook saying things like, “I’m not getting any sleep and the baby won’t stop crying but I LOVE IT AND WOULDN’T CHANGE ANY OF IT FOR A MILLION DOLLARS!” O.K. maybe I exaggerate, but you see my point. Parents feel this pressure to let everyone believe that they are not bitter, or upset, or depressed. Any hint of complaining has to be dispelled. Anyone actually experiencing post partum depression would not ever feel comfortable telling someone.
The fact is, some people just aren’t “baby people.” I’m proud to say that I am one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. I just wish they were older, I think I will enjoy them more. Also, don’t misunderstand me to think that I never take care of them. I try my hardest to take the burden off my wife when I get home from work. Some days I do better than others, but I try. I’ll feed them, or get their dinner ready sometimes. I change diapers, wash bottles and pick up
toys. I usually give the baths, and do the nighttime routine. I know Erica needs a break from being with them all day every day. But that doesn’t mean that I am one of those people who are enamored with babies and my life feels incomplete when I don’t have a baby in my arms. And
this isn’t just a guy thing.
I hope that one day there will be a safe place for “non-baby” people to share their feelings, and to help each other through the rough years of newbornness. And, I’m still trying to make up my mind if I am a “terrible two’s” person either… 🙂