Are Dads Pastors?

How would you do if you had to be interviewed to be a pastor, dads?

The list of qualifications is quite lengthy, and very probing:

You must be above reproach
The husband of one wife
Sober minded
Self controlled
Able to teach
Not a drunkard
Not violent
Not quarrelsome
Not a lover of money
The list goes on…

This weekend, as a deacon in my church, I helped interview a candidate
for the youth pastor position at my church, so I’ve been thinking a lot
lately about the qualifications of being a pastor. What struck me was
this next qualification, found in 1 Timothy 3:4. “He must manage his
own household well, and see that his children obey him with proper
respect.” “For if someone does not know how to manage his own household,
how will he care for God’s church?” What is this relationship between a
pastor and his family? Why is it important to mention his kids?

To become a pastor in a church, God assumes you are already acting as a
pastor to your family!

Ephesians 5 says that fathers are to “not provoke their children to
anger, but to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the
Lord.” It is a father’s role to teach his children about God. And
earlier in Ephesians 5 God speaks of the “husband loving his wife as
Christ loved the church…that he might sanctify her, having cleansed
her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the
church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such
thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” There are a lot of
mysteries surrounding this analogy, but one application that I think is
clear, is the husband’s role in his wife’s holiness. As a husband and
father, I have a responsibility to lead my family spiritually, to
develop an environment that teaches them right from wrong, and that is
nourishing for them to grow closer to God. So the question really
isn’t, “Would I MAKE a good pastor?” It’s, “AM I a good pastor?”

How can I do this and do it well? I’m busy enough working 40+ hours a
week, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, being a handy man around
the house (yeah right), and helping my wife take care of the kids and
cleaning up from dinner and feeding the baby. The kids go to bed a few
hours after I get home from work, so I have to have some fun family time
in there, too. Where does that leave being a spiritual leader?

I realize I need to start here. Pray. I don’t pray enough for my
family. I pray every night that Ella and Pax will one day be saved, but
I don’t spend enough time praying about raising them, about how to love
them and how to be a good example for them. There are a lot of other
ways that I can be a spiritual leader, I know. Including, but not
limited to: family devotions, personal devotions, attending church
regularly, memorizing scripture as a family, praying and giving to
missionaries, volunteering at church and in the community, etc. but
before all of that I need to beef up my prayers for them, because in my
own strength I will not be able to be all that I am called to be. I
must rely on God for the wisdom to raise a girl. And I must rely on God
for the discipline of raising a boy. And I need God’s help to show me
how to love my wife, as He loves me. So I’m going to start with prayer
and I encourage all dads/pastors to join me in doing the same!

More to come on this topic I’m sure.


6 Replies to “Are Dads Pastors?”

  1. Lee, I think the very fact that you are even thinking this way is a step in the right direction. There are many "Christian" men who do not take that responsibility seriously or even acknowledge that there even is a responsibility to model Christ to their families! Anyway, for some thoughts on the flip-side, Tiffany Darling (she and her husband, Jim, were at BBC so you might know them) recently had a really good post on her blog. Hopefully this link works:


  2. thanks for the encouragement. Jim and Tiffany were in my class, and Jim and I used to drive to UPS together, I think I'll add her blog to my list! thanks!


  3. As fathers, we must be pastors to our families. God insists on it. When I read the list of qualifications, I realize that I often fall short. But I will continue to strive to be the father that God wants me to be.


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