Sometimes life changes slowly, time goes by so fast, and I realize it all in an instant.
Each minute is born and grows, until it dies; leaving us with hours passed that stand as markers of each generation. Hours fill the days that turn into seasons, until finally years have passed and we have only blinked an eye. In that time, so much has changed, but it has changed at such a small rate that it is only evident after long periods of time.
My daughter is almost three years old now, and I see her sitting next to my nine month old son. It amazes me that she was once his age. That she was once unable to stand and walk, unable to communicate in any way, and not aware of much beyond the little world around her. No matter how hard I try, my mind is not able to relive that time, and the pictures I try to imagine of her laying on a blanket on the floor come in a haze and quickly vanish away.
But then reality snaps me to the current moment and I see her standing next to the couch, her little imagination hard at work as she pretends to go places and eat things and feed these delicacies to her baby brother. I reflect back on the recent trip we took to Disney and see her waiting in line, riding rides, meeting her ‘idols’ and acting all grown up. I realize that so much has changed in three years, that she has changed and grown in so many ways. This trip has jolted me into recognizing this fact and I think in some way it served as a defining moment in my relationship with Ella.
I can’t say that she is acting totally different around me as a result of our trip, but I think I am just viewing the things she does differently. My baby girl is gone, now she is my delicate flower, my sweet little girl who I never want to grow up. But I know she must. And so I’m watching now each day closely to see how she changes and how she grows.
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