Dad Blog Community

There’s a lot of talk about community, but I have yet to break into it’.

Some dad bloggers claim to be there for each other, and in fact almost every dad blog I read says they blog to help other dads.  Help other dads with what?  Is every post a how to?

Here’s what I want out of the dad blog community:

I view all the dad blogs out there as one continuous conversation between friends.   We talk about mundane stuff through a dad’s eyes.  Let’s face it, some toddler tooting a recorder or a baby doing a silly dance isn’t exactly earth shattering stuff.  But since we are dads we relate to it, and we know that as much as we find the little things our kids do to be cool, there are other guys out there chuckling at the same stuff when their kids do it.

Every now and then I expect the conversation to turn serious.  Just like it does with my non-online friends.  One day there will be a post about a problem I’m having.  Whether it’s about my kids or just about me dealing with life.   That’s when I hope the comments come flowing in.

Some dads say that they write their blog to help other dads.  But when I ask a question or post about a problem I’m having, rarely do I get the comment, “hey I posted about that here [insert link].”  So I think if this is every dad bloggers business plan, it’s a little bit of wishful thinking.  We’re not like some mom bloggers who post recipes, nap schedules, decoration ideas and crafts to do with kids.  Our posts are either, hey isn’t this funny/cute or I’m ticked, here’s why.  We’re not constantly checking out other people’s archives to find a post that deals with our problem.  We don’t do that kind of research.  We post a question and we want the answers to come to us.  Unfortunately, if other dads are reading, they rarely comment.

[Take the poll to the right! Who really does read this blog?]

What else do I want from the dad blog community?  When I became a dad, I also moved away from all of my closest friends in PA and came to OH where even though it’s home, I don’t feel that I have anyone here that I really get, or that really gets me.  No one at my church is my age with children my age.  Work is work and I pretty much keep those relationships professional.  So I turn to the other dad bloggers out there and hope to meet some people that way.

So I put myself out there.  I read some of the dads that I think are cool and comment and tell them they are cool and hope that they will read my stuff and the conversation will begin.

What indirect purpose do dad blogs have?  The level of involvement from fathers is changing.  Some SAHD are changing more than the level of involvement, they are redefining the gender roles. They are at the forefront of this fatherhood revolution, and they make dads like me wish I could be home more, do more cool stuff with my kids, be there for all their firsts.  Kind of what working moms are starting to feel.  Dad blogs are indirectly fighting the stereotype of the sarcastic uninvolved sports-loving idiot.

Lastly, all this jazz about how our kids will read our blogs years from now?  I doubt it.  My grandpa spent every major holiday walking around with a video camera (what type I don’t even know) and how often do we sit down and watch those?  It takes a special tape player (not VHS) to even play them.  Even then, I don’t feel like watching countless hours of me running around picking my nose and my cousins putting on a pretend circus.  Instead, consider writing your children one or two heartfelt letters a year.  I choose to do this on Father’s Day as I reflect on my responsibility as a dad.

Dad blogs need to just keep it real.  Community will follow.

Visit other great dad blogs! Click here!

Advertisements

20 Replies to “Dad Blog Community”

  1. Interestingly I have posted on my blog today in the hope of receiving advice or at least opinions.

    I’m sad to think that maybe my kids won’t read the blog, but I’m hopeful you are wrong! It’s easy to pop up a blog-post for this date in the past and I’d like to think they’ll read them occasionally if only on that basis.

    Like

  2. I tune in to dad blogs because I don’t have many friends or family that relate to my situation. Five kids? Who the heck has at least five kids except the Duggers? I see the Dad Bloggers I read as friends and when I see a story I enjoy, I tell my wife about it. But like you said, I don’t think I’ve given much help to people. Especially when I do a serious post, it seems to be the least popular. I guess they get their help fixes from Dr Phil

    Like

  3. I hear what you are saying…I hope I get a few comments now and then when I post, but since I don’t get that many I just use the blog as a vent…Posting about what’s going on or what I’m working through is cathartic…I lurk on other Dad Blogs alot, but don’t really post unless I feel I can contribute.

    Maybe I’ll try to change that now…and become more involved.

    Like

  4. i read dad blogs cos they’re a little more like me in regards to parenting. i can’t get into which stroller is the best and all that tired crud. despite the fact that my kids are adult, teens, and a tween, i still prefer dad blogs to mom blogs when it comes to talking about the little ones.

    as far as blogging is concerned, i blog w/o obligation. i blog for myself if and when i feel like it. lately i haven’t had the real desire. i’ve mostly been doing reviews and even then only on products i’d actually use. if i get comments, great. if i don’t, well then i’m not gonna stress myself over it. sometimes it’s just good to get whatever your feeling out there.

    Like

  5. My boy starts his nap at 3:30pm. I have to wake him up at 6pm, because, really…

    Then at 10:30pm we start our “Night-time. Go to sleep”/”NOOOO”/”Yes”/”NoooooooOOOO. Whaaaaaa” dance. So I’m probably not an authority on nap schedules…

    But you’re making good points. Men are different. Not saying it’s good or bad. I find a lot of support and a sense of community (even if I don’t always comment about it).

    Like

  6. If you want to build a community you have to be active in facilitating it. That requires going out and engaging with the other dads. It is just the nature of blogging and men. We’re less likely to comment than the moms are, so you have to work a bit harder.

    But the community is there. I don’t mean that to sound like I feel like every dad blogger is my friend because they aren’t, but I have made some and I am sure that I will make others.

    So, keep on plugging away and it will come.

    Like

  7. I think you are pretty correct on most of what you say. It would be good to see people tweeting links to posts when you have a problem you need help with. And commenting is definitely not strong in the community. That is myself included.

    But I do want to say this, not every dad blogger is here to be a how to guide and problem solver. Some of us write just to have an outlet. Yes, you will find posts on mine that seem like a “how to” guide, but all I do is write my thoughts as I think them. It is an outlet for me, not just for writing, but personally. Think of it as a very public journal of sorts. So if my children do something crazy silly and it makes my day, I might write about it. If I feel I have failed, I might write about it. Just whatever strikes when it strikes.

    As for my kids reading my blog years from now, http://bit.ly/a5rfM1 , about says it all.

    I think you made a lot of valid points in this post and please don’t feel like I am attacking what you have said, as it is not my intention. Just thought I would share 1 bloggers view of it.

    Like

  8. I cross-post a lot of my blogs between Multiply & Blogger; both blogs are places I have to whine or seek advice or just share a cool video off YouTube, but on reflection, I blog looking for validation as a person, (most all of my socializing is online now), and, when the blog entry is focused on a parenting issue, as a parent. In return, I don’t find myself drawn to “Daddy blogs” in particular, just those written by people, (not even necessarily parents), whose entries spark an interest.

    Like

  9. I’ve pretty much grown out of parent blogging, finding the label I imposed on myself a little too restrictive. But back in the day I certainly felt there was a community to dad bloggers. But there were less of us back then – maybe that’s a factor.

    Like

  10. As I was reading this post I was hearing Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone” in my head. See what you’ve done?

    Great post and this is the journey that people blogging about manhood/fatherhood are on right now…defining how we communicate online. We are not mommy bloggers and I believe how we arrive at “community” is very different and how we’re going to get dads involved is going to look very different than what I see some organizations trying right now.

    On a positive note, I’m seeing a great community of fathers who are active online on twitter and though it’s small right now, it’s growing.

    Like

  11. Interesting take on Dad Blogs. I write a Daddy Blog and it’s definitely not a “How To” blog. What you get from my blog is “real life”. I write about what’s really on my mind as it directly relates to parenting. I might be writing a letter to my children about depression (http://www.dadstreet.com/?p=386) or describing my feelings about my mother’s cancer (http://www.dadstreet.com/?p=276) and how that relates to my children, or my feelings on raising a girl (http://www.dadstreet.com/?p=201), or any number of other things that relate to being a Dad.

    I suppose different Dad’s have different reasons for writing a blog. I love “helping” other Dad’s when I can but that’s usually done on Twitter or Facebook. Of course I hope other Dads can relate when they read my blog but at the end of the day what you get is real raw thoughts and emotions from a Father. If that resonates with others than I think that’s great but if not, I’m fine because it’s me.

    Like

  12. You know, I started my blog with the same intentions, but after never getting much response I moved over to looking more into technology and things that can be used as a father, and it has taken a life of its own in terms of direction. I still post about more serious things from time to time, but have recently considered starting up a new blog just for speaking my mind about being a father. If anyone has any opinions I’d love to hear them.

    Like

  13. I guess I’m guilty as charged wrt a blog aiming to “help”. I try to be practical though, as well as mixing in the personal stories. eg:
    http://dad-u.blogspot.com/p/dad50.html

    I also found that the “community” just didn’t seem to happen among the dad-bloggers. That is, until the twitter network around the #DadsTalking hashtag sprung up. If you haven’t taken a look, you should.

    Like

  14. I gotta call you out on something friend. You wrote a great post about the lack of Community in the Daddy Blogging World. Yet you have 14 comments on this site, one of them mine and you have not reaponded to one ( at least from what I can see). I see you just signed up for Twitter and that’s great! There’s a huge community out here but it is 2 way. We could have a huge conversation which would lead to community just on your site but again it takes two. I look forward to conversing with you brother!

    Like

  15. interesting take. also interesting interactions in reply to the many dads that comment – I agree with Josh its a two way street you make efforts you get efforts.

    Like

Comments are closed.