There’s a lot of talk about community, but I have yet to break into it’.
Some dad bloggers claim to be there for each other, and in fact almost every dad blog I read says they blog to help other dads. Help other dads with what? Is every post a how to?
Here’s what I want out of the dad blog community:
I view all the dad blogs out there as one continuous conversation between friends. We talk about mundane stuff through a dad’s eyes. Let’s face it, some toddler tooting a recorder or a baby doing a silly dance isn’t exactly earth shattering stuff. But since we are dads we relate to it, and we know that as much as we find the little things our kids do to be cool, there are other guys out there chuckling at the same stuff when their kids do it.
Every now and then I expect the conversation to turn serious. Just like it does with my non-online friends. One day there will be a post about a problem I’m having. Whether it’s about my kids or just about me dealing with life. That’s when I hope the comments come flowing in.
Some dads say that they write their blog to help other dads. But when I ask a question or post about a problem I’m having, rarely do I get the comment, “hey I posted about that here [insert link].” So I think if this is every dad bloggers business plan, it’s a little bit of wishful thinking. We’re not like some mom bloggers who post recipes, nap schedules, decoration ideas and crafts to do with kids. Our posts are either, hey isn’t this funny/cute or I’m ticked, here’s why. We’re not constantly checking out other people’s archives to find a post that deals with our problem. We don’t do that kind of research. We post a question and we want the answers to come to us. Unfortunately, if other dads are reading, they rarely comment.
[Take the poll to the right! Who really does read this blog?]
What else do I want from the dad blog community? When I became a dad, I also moved away from all of my closest friends in PA and came to OH where even though it’s home, I don’t feel that I have anyone here that I really get, or that really gets me. No one at my church is my age with children my age. Work is work and I pretty much keep those relationships professional. So I turn to the other dad bloggers out there and hope to meet some people that way.
So I put myself out there. I read some of the dads that I think are cool and comment and tell them they are cool and hope that they will read my stuff and the conversation will begin.
What indirect purpose do dad blogs have? The level of involvement from fathers is changing. Some SAHD are changing more than the level of involvement, they are redefining the gender roles. They are at the forefront of this fatherhood revolution, and they make dads like me wish I could be home more, do more cool stuff with my kids, be there for all their firsts. Kind of what working moms are starting to feel. Dad blogs are indirectly fighting the stereotype of the sarcastic uninvolved sports-loving idiot.
Lastly, all this jazz about how our kids will read our blogs years from now? I doubt it. My grandpa spent every major holiday walking around with a video camera (what type I don’t even know) and how often do we sit down and watch those? It takes a special tape player (not VHS) to even play them. Even then, I don’t feel like watching countless hours of me running around picking my nose and my cousins putting on a pretend circus. Instead, consider writing your children one or two heartfelt letters a year. I choose to do this on Father’s Day as I reflect on my responsibility as a dad.
Dad blogs need to just keep it real. Community will follow.