Releasing (what little you have) Control?!

Having kids means having control.  At least control of some things, and only for the first few years.  And even then, you can’t control everything about a newborn.  O.K. so they pretty much control you.  But there are some things you can control, especially when it comes to what they look like. I’m not talking about their hair color and face structure, you’re stuck with whatever genes you pass on.  The clothes they wear.  There, that’s what you control.

Then somewhere along the line kids learn a new word, “Choice.”   They learn the phrase “I want” and then stutter to tell you exactly what they want.  Or they repeat it.  Over. And over. Aaaannnd over again.

What they love is the freedom to have some small control over their own life.  They really feel grown up when they can choose.  And when my daughter starts to have a meltdown about not being able to get something she wants, sometimes just offering her a choice short circuits the meltdown wiring and throws her brain into “Wait, I need to think this through” mode.  Then again, sometimes the choice does nothing to derail the temper train.

But it is interesting to see your kid learn to express themselves as they discover who they are and what they like.  I’ve written before about how Ella breaks the molds I have made for her.  Pink.  Girly.  Butterflies.  Sometimes she likes these things but primarily she is a robot truck dinosaur girl.

She has occasionally picked out her outfits.  Not for school but just around the house.  The effect has been a “fairy princess Spider man” or a boa wearing scuba diver.

So when Ella went to the audiologist to get new ear molds the doctor held out a swatch of colors for Erica to choose from when Ella began to make her plea!

Like the first time you let your kids pick out their clothes for outside the house, or choose a pair of glasses, releasing that control can be frightening.  What did Ella choose?

Blue Ear Molds

But after seeing them on her, I must say they are totally her.  And at this age no one is going to say anything.  I always wonder what kids will think about it as she gets older, but for now she is safe to pick whatever she wants.

Nice choice kiddo!  Next time I hope you pick the pink sparkly ones.

To see what she picked for her earmolds next, click here!


14 Replies to “Releasing (what little you have) Control?!”

    1. I had to look that up, for some reason I was thinking Jolly Rancher (which is one of the candy greats) but knowing it is the skull and crossbones now makes your comment even better! Yeah, that would totally be something she would pick out because on top of being a boa wearing scuba diver she is also sometimes a pirate complete with a skull and crossbones eye patch!


  1. That’s good stuff right there. When my little boy broke his arm earlier this year, we went to have it casted. He wanted the pink one. I quickly talked him out of it. Then I realized, I wouldn’t have talked my daughter out of a blue one if she wanted one. I realized I was making a double standard, but it’s just how dads are.

    She totally rocks that outfit!


    1. I wasn’t even thinking about the double standard but you are totally right. If my son had hearing loss and wanted to choose pink ear molds I would have steered him away. Is that wrong? What’s up with that? Hmmm, may be a future post brewing.


  2. Lee
    just wait until the kids get older, its much more fun, they want their way all the time, they think that they can control you. this is such a hard issue with us sometimes, they say they are having a sleepover and thats that but you GOT to take charge and let them know who is the boss. good luck with this issue. trust me its not easy…


  3. It’s a shame they don’t make any spiderman clothes for girls. I have my own spiderman princess at home. Emma is two and loves all of the girly pink princess stuff, but she is also gaga for spiderman. We’ve bought her several shirts and pajamas from the boys section, but I wish they would make cute pink shirts with spiderman. Maybe they could add some lace and a matching ruffle skirt for all of the Princess Spidermans out there.


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