Breathe Out

Every once in a while, you get what you ask for.  And it’s a good thing.

Yesterday I was asking God for a glimmer of hope.  Something to help me get through this rough patch of parenting.  I’ve been at my wit’s end.  And just then the clouds parted and the sun shined and I could almost feel Him smiling at me. 

When I got home from work, two smiling kids with coats and shoes on, holding Candyland and coloring books, stood ready to go to Grandma’s house.  Erica and I were able to enjoy dinner together and just talk.  It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s really nothing short of a miracle in our house.  The past few days have really brought us closer together as we’ve both had God working on our hearts.  So we shared and ate and then were able to get some things done for our first adoption fundraiser which I’ll be announcing here soon!

But as good as that was it wasn’t what made me feel so hopeful.  When the kids came home I put Pax in the bathtub and I have never enjoyed being with him so much before.  I let him take a big bouncy ball in the tub and he and I were throwing it back and forth, splashing and making silly sounds.  Oh, it felt so good.

I also shared a moment with Ella in the kitchen, she ran to me and hugged me and I stood up and started spinning her around.  We spun faster and faster while I would lean her back or throw her over my shoulders and she was giggling and squealing saying, “Daddy, spin me again!” 

Just hearing her little girl voice call me daddy sometimes is enough to melt my heart. Well, when it isn’t said in defiance. 

I felt like for the first time in a while I was able to exhale.   All this frustration was building inside of me, making me tense.  Last night’s fun was release.