The Complexities of Love

“Ella, do you love Pax?”


“Why not? Why don’t you love Pax? He’s your brother.”

“He pee-peed on me!”

It’s true, a few months ago they were taking a bath together and…

Ever since then, they have always taken their baths seperately. And it seems, ever since then, Ella has also carried a grudge. It got to a point where we almost considered buying her a Dora backpack and giving it to her “from Pax” to say he’s sorry. But we decided against that and have just been waiting this out.

This isn’t what I envisioned when I thought about having multiple children. I know that my brothers and I didn’t always get along, but unless they were sitting on top of me tickling me to death, I usually loved them. And I guess I always thought that my kids would all love each other and get along.

Periodically, I’ve asked her the question again and gotten the same reply.  I explained that he’s only a baby, he didn’t mean to do it, it was an accident, he won’t do it again, and she should forgive him. But even after explaining all these things to her, she wouldn’t change her mind.  “I don’t love him” she easily confessed.

But things may be changing.  The other day, Ella said she did love Pax!  We asked her again, just to confirm it and it was true!  I don’t know what happened.  But finally her heart turned and she must have forgiven him for his little incident (or forgotten it).  Now she includes him in her imaginary play with all the other great figures of her pantheon (she constantly pretends she is playing with her preschool teacher and best friend from school).  She’s been so sweet to him, too!  And I’m relieved that they love each other again.