I’ve decided to do something. I’m getting off the couch.
It’s 9:00pm and I’m tying up the laces on my new running shoes. My old ones have floppy soles and smell like cut grass. And that’s what I will continue to use them for. But these are still stiff and smell like new. Outside is a brisk 50 degrees and my internal body temperature drops until my warm-up walk is complete and I’ve made it to the jogging trail near my house.
The trail follows a winding road through the park. There’s no streetlights. Only the cloud covered moon and the occassional headlight uncover the path before me.
I feel like I’ve been putting a lot of energy and effort into this. The only payoff so far has been pain. Day two put me back on the couch. Now as I run, my feet send shockwaves up my spine, my legs are heavy and my shoulders ache with every impact of my heel.
As is typical of me, I’m frustrated that I’m not already seeing results. I have to remind myself that it has only been three days. My shoes act like reflectors because they are barely dirty.
The pavement has spent years without me. To it, this new short burst of mine is nothing even substantial to think about. As much as I’m noticing the hard pavement with every step, it hardly notices the gentle massage my feet are giving it.
It’s a marathon I’m training for but I’m treating it like a sprint. I need the discipline to keep going.
Step. Step. Step.
I’ve noticed the same is true with me trying to change my character. I’m trying to be patient, more loving, and less selfish.
Step. Step. Step.
Uphill, downhill. Sometimes I just need to slow down and walk, but other times I need to turn up the volume and crank up the speed, pushing myself to new limits, proving once and for all that there have been changes. That I am seeing results. Yesterday I couldn’t run this long. Three days ago, I couldn’t run that far, even if it is only an extra tenth of a mile. The point is, I’m not on the couch anymore, content with who I am.
Taking more steps today…