Another busy day, and I’m searching for some time to myself so I head downstairs to the cafeteria instead of sitting at my desk for lunch. I crack open a book I started reading months ago, that has been sitting sat on my desk untouched ever since. I unsuccessfully fumble through the pages looking for a sign of where I left off, instead I pick up reading a story about an alarm clock. Immediately I relate.
My alarm goes off every morning at 5:00 AM, because every night I think about how great it would be to get up early and read, have a nice bowl of cereal, take a relaxing warm bath and start my day. But every morning I wake up forty five minutes later and rush to get out the door because of my addiction to ‘sleep snoozing’. I have to admit, while I do set my alarm every night wishing that tomorrow will be different, I never really thought long and hard about what the consequences might be if I continue to set these goals and fail to meet them. I will no longer trust myself.
I consider myself to be a pretty trustworthy guy. I have my downfalls, like not always unloading the dishwasher in the morning like I’m supposed to, or not finishing every project I start around the house. But for the most part I try to be the reliable professional so that others will be able to count on me. I had never thought about how trusting I was of myself, or “Self Trust” as the Stephen M. R. Covey calls it in his book “The Speed of Trust.”
Every day that I set my alarm for 5:00 AM and say I’m going to get up early and do all these amazing things and then don’t, is just reinforcing in my mind that when I make a commitment to myself, I probably won’t keep it. This little thing will lead to me not trusting myself for even bigger commitments I make to myself. For example, every Father’s Day I make some resolutions about how I can be a better father. This year I noticed that my resolutions were a lot like the ones I made the year before. To read my Bible more, to pray more for my family…will I follow through with those, or will I, like my alarm, hit snooze on the days when it isn’t easy and excuse it away by saying there just isn’t time. Even before this lunch break I had a decision to make. Should I grab my Bible or Speed of Trust?
It’s something I need to work on. And from now on, I’m going to only set my alarm for 5:00 AM on days that I will actually get up. And tomorrow it will be 5:45.
PS. Merry Christmas in July!